Urge to Crossdress is like trying to hold a beach ball under water

The Urge to Crossdress is Like a Beach Ball Under Water

One thing is sure about crossdressing. It is really confusing about why we do it. Furthermore, what others think about it can weigh heavily on us crossdressers, enough so that we try to repress it. But can the urge to crossdress simply be put away?

Will the Urge to Crossdress Ever Go Away?

I have just finished reading a book about crossdressing. It is He or She, by Vicky Lee. Published in 2005, some considered it the Bible of crossdressing back then. I’m not sure I’d go that far, but it does have a lot of useful information.

I’ve spent a lot of time reading about crossdressing, both on the Internet and in real books. I am not often jolted by what I read, but I did come across such a paragraph on page 18 of the book. I found it so profound that I want to share it with you.

You can try to hold these feelings down out of sight like holding a beach ball under water but in time you will tire or just plain give up and, like the beach ball, your transgender feelings will bob up to the surface.

I have read many times, including on forums such as Crossdressers.com, where a person becomes frustrated with crossdressing and decides to cut it from her life. What follows is a chorus of well-meaning folks who say not to throw away the clothes and makeup, because the need to crossdress never goes away. So is this true? Will it ever go away?

Do I Want the Urge to Crossdress to Go Away?

My short answer is: No!

Sure, there are times that I second guess that answer. Being caught by an unsuspecting family member was one such instance. Despite the embarrassment, it didn’t stop me.

I love everything about crossdressing. The shopping experience and slipping the clothes on are something I truly love. I also love how it changes my mindset, making me a better person. It also reveals my true self to others and challenges my fears of what others think. To me, opening myself to crossdressing has broadened my perspective on life, despite the societal difficulties it brings.

I still hold that beach ball under the water from time to time, but there’s nothing I’d like better than to let that ball pop out for all to see. My ideal life would be to have my male persona on display when I want it and to have my female persona on display when I want it – without regard to what others think.

So no, I don’t want it to go away. I want to embrace it for what it is, and run with it when I am able to do so.

Do You Want the Urge to Crossdress to Go Away?

Of course, Sami isn’t going to tell you how you feel about the urge to crossdress, or whether you wish those feelings would just go away. My doing that would be just as senseless as trying to convince you to change your favorite food. That’s kinda just a part of you.

Sure, you can convince yourself that you no longer want to taste whatever it is that you enjoy so much. You can decide you’ll never enjoy the flavor or the texture of your favorite food again, and it will be hard to do. You can do it with enough willpower, but do you really want to do that?

My question to you is why would you put yourself through that? Of all things, why not go ahead and enjoy your favorite? Perhaps some moderation is wise, but why completely deprive yourself of that tasty food?

Embracing Crossdressing

Likewise, we enjoy crossdressing a lot. Maybe we need to do that in moderation as well, but why try to drop it completely? It is very difficult to suppress something that is such a core part of ourselves. I would even argue it is something that is part of our core being. Instead of trying to decide whether to drop crossdressing completely from your life, perhaps it would be better to embrace it as the delicious part of your being, and then figure out how it is going to work with all the other parts of your life.

xoxoxo Sami

p.s., Here are some of my other popular Sami’s Week posts. Enjoy!

What did you think about this article? Do you wish you could stop the urge to crossdress?  Leave a comment.

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Posted by Sami

Sami has been a part-time crossdresser for about 5 years. Although she still has a lot to learn herself, she is enjoying teaching new crossdressers tips that will hopefully help them on their adventure.
Besides enjoying her time with her family and working as a web developer, Sami loves to travel, make home improvements, and create jewelry in her spare time.
Read more about Sami by clicking her name.

6 thoughts on “The Urge to Crossdress is Like a Beach Ball Under Water”

  1. Ball under water is perfectly puts it. I been crossdressing over 40 years and open publicly in the late 1990s. By 2010 everyone knew in some shape or form of my CDing.

    I have a wife that knew I crossdress way before we became serious at dating. Married for 27 years now

  2. beach ball is right smack on. i have tried just throwing everything out and guess what. i just bought everything again. i just need to control it and do it in moderation. sometimes it seems to take over and control me. working on that . my fem side is pretty dominant at times

    1. I have found that trying to control it is the wrong approach. It is what it is, and once we accept that, life becomes much easier and more pleasant.

    2. Fantastic article. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this, totally related to the points made..
      personally I have purged several times just to start over again from scratch! equal parts costly just as much as it is frustrating With the back and forth & internal turmoil!

  3. great article. there are times when i want to stop. but then i crave to wear the high heels and a dress.
    paint my nails and put on lipstick. iam trying to accept it and just relax . it feels really good when i dress up. iam not ashamed ,just dont understand the why of it. i guess like you say it is a part of me.. i enjoy my fem side when i dress. but i still am confused about it all.

  4. Hi all, reading all the comment’s is like reading my own life story. I’ve done the “purge” at least 6 or 7 times over the years. Only to buy everything back again.
    Mine includes toys as well. When I’m in fem mode I’m fully a woman and want to be the woman so to speak.
    On the outside I’m a masculine man with a very masculine life. But on the inside and in private I’m a very feminine woman.
    The two never cross in public and my partner has absolutely no idea as my friends don’t either.
    Every time I promise myself this time will be the last time, to only have that beach ball re surface again. I’ve spent 35 years of my life this way. My only wish would be to live in a world where embracing your feminine side isn’t taboo or frowned upon. Where you don’t get sneers and judgment and everyone could just be who ever they wanted to be.
    Emma xx

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