Dear Heidi,

I don’t know whether this will help you, but it might help you gain confidence without going en femme.

I also have not gone shopping for clothes en femme, so I understand what you are feeling. However, I have gone shopping while drab, including trying for fit. It is easiest at places that don’t have someone at the entrance to the fitting rooms. Just walk in with what you want to try.

At those shops where someone must let you into the fitting room, you might get a strange look, but usually that isn’t the case. You probably wouldn’t be the first they have seen.

I once had a younger attendant giggle out loud, but I didn’t take it as making fun of me. I think it was how she coped with something she wasn’t expecting.

My experiences may not work for you, but I think it is a good way to ease into becoming more confident without worrying whether you have perfected your look. For myself at first, it was easiest to do with blouses and women’s pants or shorts. Now I have the confidence to try anything, including dresses.

Good luck!

Sami

Thank you, Velma, for your comments. I have been finding what you say to be true over time. There are no problems, and people, for the most part, don’t care.

I hope others reading this article are encouraged to get off the fence and try shopping in a store for themselves, regardless of whether they do so while presenting as male or female. It is definitely a thrill to do so and “live through it!”

xoxoxo Sami